Here I go again.

It's the beginning of another new year. 2010 already? Really? 2009 whizzed by, but I can't forget the high points:

*spending New Year's in Oakland. No smiley face here.

*spending the day with the Iacono's from Down Under in San Francisco. DEFINITELY a highlight of my year.

*moving back "home" to SoCal in March

*starting a travel assignment at Cedars-Sinai, where "I'll NEVER work"...and then loving it so much from the very beginning that I vowed never to leave.

*a visit from my dear friend Megan in May. The week passed by way too quickly, but we relaxed a little and went to Catalina Island. Great times!

*a visit from my dear friend Cynthia in July. Again, the time passed way too quickly. Don't know who gave her permission to stay only 3 days, but it wasn't us. We made the best of it just the same.

*an August visit from my 2 favorite boys, Tyler and Ian. Now THAT was fun. Lots of laughs because of those two. They're so different, but they mesh really well. While they were here, there were 3 boys in my house. I was WAY outnumbered, but loved every minute of it and hated to see them go. There were so many funny moments that I kept a list of "things overheard" and still go to the list when I need a laugh. Perhaps I'll bribe them with it at a later date...but until then, I'll keep it for my own personal enjoyment.

*a switch from traveler to regular staff at Cedars-Sinai...the place I said I'd never work. This was a huge step for us, but a good one. There is no better job than the one I get to do there 3 days a week. Great management, great co-workers, great patients, great job. I truly love going to work each day. This switch also entailed another move, but the last one for a VERY. LONG. TIME. No more packing up and moving stuff for a while. We found an apartment in West Hollywood that we love. The location is great and the apartment is just the right size. As much as I dislike having to pay rent for the first time in 4 years, I do love to be able to call it "our" home.

*November. Thanksgiving with our dear friends Chris and Jesse. Good times again. And then on November 30, I sat for my Oncology Nursing Certification exam...and PASSED! This was a huge accomplishment for me. It's been my personal goal for the last 3 years and I always found an excuse not to do it. This time, I waited until the very last day to take it in 2009, but I did it...and succeeded.

*December came and went with little to report. I spent lots of time looking at photos of the blizzard back home in Virginia and feeling homesick.

*We brought in the New Year by listening to Michael Buble and playing Mancala and Gin Rummy. We realized how important the simple pleasures in life really are and we both vowed to do more of that in 2010.

All in all, it was a good year. The job security is a good thing. It's nice to love your job and love where you live. It's nice to have good friends and to reconnect with old ones on Facebook. It's nice to be healthy...and alive. It feels really good to make a difference every day in at least 5 patients' lives. It feels really good when they call me by name after I've been their nurse only once. It feels really good when they hug me after their treatment and thank me for helping them get through "this". It's nice to share my life with my "Bubba" who loves me like no other. I am truly blessed.

Here's to an even better 2010. For all of you, I wish for good health, happiness, prosperity and the ability to look back when THIS year is over to say it was a year well-lived...that you did the best you could with the choices you were given. We all have difficult decisions to make, but I hope that this little piece of advice will help:

"When considering a difficult decision, look ahead in your life toward the day when you will die, and consider: which option would you regret most *not* doing. In most cases, your answer will be immediately clear." -Metta Zetty

And for you, Bubba, I wish you NO writer's block and success with everything you do. Love you.

So thankful.

Today was just a typical Thursday in August. Nothing so special per se, yet so VERY special.

Woke up fairly early to the laughter of Tyler and Ian and my Bubba. So happy to have those boys here visiting. So thankful for their Mom and for them.

Sat together in this room, all four of us on our computers, all four of us on Facebook. Bubz and Ty and I ganged up on Ian with Facebook comments...and we all laughed 'til our sides hurt.

Walked to the Farmer's Market and had one of those delicious bacon-wrapped hotdogs with grilled onions. Oh my. I can't tell you how good it tasted. According to one 12-year old Ian, though, "It's the best hotdog I've ever eaten." And from his facial expressions and the sounds coming from him, I believe him.

The boys went to play tennis while I napped. I'm assuming there was more laughing going on 'cause Bubba said his ribs hurt from laughing.

So thankful for today. And for the next 5 days.

Remember.

Just a short plea to all of you who may stumble upon this post:

1. Pray for a cure for cancer.
2. Remember Michael Jackson for the contributions he made with his music.
3. Stop, take a deep breath, and realize that every...single...moment...is golden. We are all so very fragile. Life is precious. Realize it...before it's too late.

Sad.

So I'm a cancer nurse. I see some recovery, a few positives every now and then. But more often, there's the other side of this horrible disease that I'm exposed to. The pain, the sadness, the way it rips through bodies and families and friends, destroying much of what's in its path. When I hear a story about someone who has been diagnosed, it never gets any easier to swallow. It's always like it's the first time.

On the news the other night, there was the story about Hannah. 10 years old, just diagnosed with breast cancer. At age 10, she has already had a mastectomy. She started chemo yesterday and will lose her hair in the next couple of weeks. She's choosing to shave her head so that it's her choice to be bald instead of waiting for the chemo to rid her of her long, beautiful brown hair. But 10 years old? Just a baby. While I am inspired by her courage, I am deeply saddened by the way this poison is about to rob her of her childhood. And I am even more saddened by how little money is spent on cancer research in this country compared to other things that we spend money on. I won't get started on that tonight, though. I'll save that for another time.

Hearing that someone has cancer is hard, whether it's a friend, a family member or a stranger. But just hearing that my best friend's mother has been diagnosed with endometrial cancer has left a huge hole in my heart. I feel physically ill. I'm bitter. I'm resentful. And I'm sad.

Please pray.

Life is good.

May 14, 2009. My 41st birthday! Wow! I don't FEEL 41. And with the exception of those little lines between my eyebrows and those gray hairs...well, that's another story for another time.

So we just had a visit from Megan. 6 wonderful days, but 6 days that passed way too quickly. Lots of beautiful sights, lots of laughs, lots of good food, and time spent with good friends. It doesn't really get any better than that.

I'm still loving my job and living in L.A...and still somewhat surprised about that. I know, I know...I should just accept it.

So life is good. Hope it's good for you, too.

What a difference 17 days makes.

Ahhhhh...

17 days ago, we were pulling out of Oakland, CA and headed for L.A. Headed for home. We gave ourselves about 21 hours to make a 7-hour drive because we'd rather sleep in the U-Haul, parked in a rest area, than spend one more night in Oakland. Pathetic, huh? Well, the 3 hours we spent sleeping in the U-Haul were far from the best sleep we ever had, but our first night in our new home was perhaps the best night's sleep we'd had in about 3 months. We were finally home.

We've been here almost 3 weeks now. We both love the apartment. What's not to love about the Italian-villa style complex with a private park, accessible only to residents...and a rooftop pool on our building...and a fabulous L.A. skyline view...and our 10th floor apartment with the balcony that looks out over a street lined with palm trees? It's small but comfy. Everything is put away and organized. We're all settled.

And then there's the job. God, I love my new job. I'm working in the outpatient cancer center at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. I work with some amazing people. Though I said I'd never work 12-hour days again, that's what I'm doing. I know, I know...never say never. I can see myself working here forever. I am so excited about giving chemotherapy again. I am so excited about actually feeling like a nurse again...something I didn't really feel in Berkeley. I'm using my brain. I'm helping patients. I'm making a difference. Again. Finally.

I never thought, in a million years, that I'd like being a city girl. But it's great. It doesn't get any better than this. What a difference 17 days makes.

It's all good.

Finally, finally, finally. I got a 13-week contract at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. I finished my assignment here in Berkeley yesterday and start in L.A. on March 23.

This stay in Northern California was a huge learning experience. It taught me that money doesn't really matter, in the whole scheme of things. The pay here was fantastic, but money doesn't buy happiness.

Bubba and I were blessed to be provided with a nice comfortable apartment. I was blessed with 3 wonderful people to work closely with in the VAD room at the Cancer Center. I was blessed with many brave and wonderful patients. Many who came in day after day, or week after week, with smiles on their faces. They kept it in perspective for me. I really didn't have it that bad.

But now, we're headed back to L.A. We're going to live right in the heart of it all and I'm going to work at another outpatient cancer center. I'm excited to get back into administering chemotherapy and spending more than 15 minutes with each patient. I'm excited to get back to where I left so many wonderful friends.

I am SO happy. I was worried, but Bubba never gave up. He kept me grounded and taught me that all that really matters is that we're together, we have a car, a roof over our head, and food in our tummies. And now, we have that and SO MUCH MORE. Yes, it was down to the wire. I didn't get the contract at Cedars until 8 days before the end of this contract, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I DID get it.

It's all good.